The Never Ending Train Ride

If a train leaving Budapest for Athens, departs at 1pm on Thursday, traveling at the slowest possible speed, stopping at nearly every stop along the way, what time would it arrive to its destination? I know, I know, you need more information to solve this 4th grade math problem, well how about I just give you the answer-34 GRUELING HOURS! Ok, ok, they weren’t all grueling, but I absolutely must tell you about a few of the highlights.
Just entered Serbia. Hour: 5 or 6. Craig and Mariella sitting in a cabin with two other people. For a while everything seems ok. Two men exit at some point. Craig and Mariella read, laugh, and listen to music. Woman cloaked with the black fur of some dead animal around her entire body steps into cabin; she is wearing a face mask. I just finished reading a short article on the H1N1 back home and all the craziness it’s created. Example A: Paranoia? Woman looks around, making eye contact a few times and nervously gets settled into her seat, but before that…she makes eye contact with Mariella and, in French, says please put your feet down.
*Now, I could totally understand this if she was sitting in the very next seat, but she’s not. In fact, she took the seat 3 seats away from my feet and by the way I had just showered and had clean socks on.
Ok, continuing. I look at her and am annoyed by her self-appointed authority. I pretend not to understand. Craig translates. Annoyed, I slide my feet down and start voicing my annoyed-ness out loud to Craig. “who does she think…she’s not even…why doesn’t she…” Craig writes in the magazine three letters: O.C.D.
*Having recently watched a very accurate documentary on Obsessive Compulsive Disorders, I feel I am really aware and understand that this person has issues. Oh, the name of the film? What About Bob?
Some time passes. Craig and I decide it’s ok for me to put my feet up seeing as her back is to us some seats away and she wouldn’t notice. I cough.
*Those of you who know me can vouch for me, I hope, but I always cover my mouth-always, I am sure there is an occasional slip up, but not this time, not after having read that article about H1N1 and sitting next to crazy.
She rambles something else in French and I throw my hands up-once again annoyed. A few minutes pass by and a woman collecting the garbage from the bins comes by, O.C.D. lady stops her and says something. Garbage collector lady walks towards me and gestures, because we clearly don’t speak each other’s language, gestures to me, like a parent does to a child, to cover my mouth.
*Ladies and gentlemen: It’s time to freak out. I loudly argue with Craig about whether or not she should be allowed to be so rude and assuming simply because she has a disorder. I argue that she should have taken a plane or her very own car if she wants to have the entire world stop and submit to her rules. This goes on for a while.
Because I am recovering from a cold, no really I am, I cough a few more times within the next few hours, making sure to cover my mouth every stinkin time, like both hands over face. She continues rambling. Eventually she, in a furious blur of black mink and mask, gathers her belongings and exits the cabin. I now understand that part In What About Bob? When he finally exits the bus and everyone on the bus, having moved to the front in a protective huddle, cheers at his exit. Freedom!
The next are short, I promise Brad.
We are now in Serbia, taking a train overnight to Athens. We get tickets, because after having been stopped twice on trains we thought were Eurorail participators and were not and either having to haggle a price for pocket money for the conductor or pay the regular fee, we know to ask every possible question and not assume that the person, the professional who is paid to give information about trains and times and fees, is in any way serious about helping you, the paying customer. So, we are getting on the train, sleeper cars, the cheaper-oops more affordable “couchettes.”
What’s a couchette? A small cabin with two benches that turn into 6, yup 6 beds.
We get into the train and some guy approached us holding his cigarette in one hand, and asks if we have reservations. Yes, we do. Let me see your ticket. Craig begins to hand his ticket over and I ask, uhh, do you work here? He laughs. Yes,of course. Oh. I pinch the shoulder part of his leather jacket. Is this your uniform? Craig says “He’s the Fonz dude”. I think sometimes Craig forgets that were not in America. The Fonz? Craig? Really? The guy laughs, and ushers us to our sweet cabin. It’s the cabin in the picture where I look like I might cry as I lay on that nasty “couchette.”
The last one is just a really funny observation. So far, we’ve been asked for our passports at least 5 times, just in the last two days. Every time, Craig gets a quick glance and his passport is handed back to him. They get my passport, blue just like the US passport, and they stutter. A glitch in the system. The make a radio or cell phone call, call another guy over, refer to their handbook, or make me white while they light up another cigarette, deep thinking always requires a cigarette in Europe. Finally, usually, they pass me through, so far.
So after 34 hours of train travel, we have made it to Athens, Greece. It’s late. Goodnight. (Hour 36, 1am

Photos of our last day in Budapest, train ride, Mariella creatively making a sandwich and Athens from the balcony. The room feels like a tiny Hume Lake cabin and the view is nice.